My colors are "blush" and "bashful."

In a bit of a funk one day, I decided to watch "Steel Magnolias" for the billionth time ( women of a certain age, you know what I'm talking about, Pink is all our signature color) Steel Magnolias is one of the ladies-only-weepy-rejoicy-way-beyond-chick-flick-in-that-i -mean-men's-eyes-will-melt-if -they-try-to-watch-it-unless-they-are-gay-and-maybe-still-then-movies.

I just want to break some crucial plot points down before i tear this film favorite a new asshole.
M'lynn (sally feild) is the mother to hyper-diabetic Shelby (julia roberts)
Ousier (pronounced Weezer, and played by Shirley Maclaine) is their loud, brash codgery neighbor and Clairee (Olympia Dukakis) is her rich, fabulous, oldest friend.
They all meet at Truvie's (Dolly Parton) Hair Salon, where Truvie and Annelle (Daryl Hannah) aqua net their glorious southern belle hairdos into oblivion.

Okay, now that we're caught up on the basic framework, let's discuss (and by discuss I mean read my point of view and mine alone) some details.
WARNING spoilers ahead!!
Shelby's getting married to a young delicious Dylan McDermott, but oh dear, she's just so sick with the diabetes.
My'lynn is just so worried about the fruits of their marriage ie; bebehs, seeing as Shelby's just so sick with the diabetes.
All these other bitches are doing shit too, and a good hour of their drama consumes screen time, but hey everyone, don't forget, Shelby's just so sick with the diabetes.
The she gets pregnant and oh no, she's just so pretty and just so sick with the diabetes.

Here's where I'm gonna get pissed.

Shelby dies when her hyper-diabetic kidneys quit that bitch. She dies and her stupid little toddler-baby is all "wahhhh, wahhhh" cuz that little fucker can't talk. Shelby dies because, and you can quote me here, SHE IS A SELFISH CUNT.

If every medical professional in the modern world told you you'd be an asshole to have a baby, that you would DIE from motherhood, that you would orphan your child and devastate your whole damn family, how much of a hurry would you be in to get knocked up?

Personally, I'd be out there in Malaysia or Thailand Angelina Jolie-ing the fuck out of some precious caramel colored orphans.

I never before held Shelby's condition and subsequent death against her. Those "Steel Magnolias" were the facets of womanhood embodied. Sure, they were 2 dimensional southern caricatures,but they were relate-able nonetheless. Shelby represented youth. Capricious and altuistric, naive and genuine. Shelby is a beautiful tragic creature, and you helplessly watch as she flouts the restrictions of her hyper-diabetes. She just rubs your face right in it, because you may not be a southern belle, a smart sassy hairdresser, a lovable curmudgeon, or a wealthy southern landowner, but damnit, you were young. You could relate to Shelby more than any other character, because you were both young. And she left you, so she could birth a kid. A kid she KNEW she wouldn't see grow up. Isn't that just as frustrating as anything?

What a shitty bitch.