Fuck you facebook, you're breaking my heart.

I'm thinking of breaking up with technology. It's been cheating on me..WITH MY PARENTS!!!

Hello, all our mothers are on facebook. Why are our mothers all on facebook? Is this weird to anyone else? I don't need my mom reading all those personal quizzes I'm always taking about what "true-blood" character I am. .

Mom, stay the hell away from my facebook, and if you even think about "tweeting", I'm gonna break your computer by smashing it with my computer.


Similarly, I couldn't help but feel a little offended when my Dad got a iphone. What the hell does he need an iphone for? Here I am with a flip phone from the fucking 90s, and my 62 year old father is you-tubing Beyonce videos on his next generation i-fucking-phone.

Dad, if see you downloading anymore useless "apps" I'm throwing your iphone in the ocean.

Technology, stop giving my parents bedroom eyes, or i swear to god, I'll cut your dick off.